I did some more writing this afternoon and some at the write in. Still hating my description. I feel like my writing muscles are warming up some but hopefully this crap will be a little better around 10,000 words. I didn't edit this at all. I think a ran it through a spellchecker.
Dares Used Today: (11 dares 1 bonus points)
* Include a phrase in a different foreign language each chapter. (On going dare that I forgot to list)
* Involve the phrase “Yeah, well you may have more blue pens then me, but I hold the monopoly on grandmothers!” Bonus points is it's in context. (I think that was in context somewhat, though I have no idea what a monopoly on grandmothers is) (BONUS POINTS 1)
* Have a character place his trashcan on his desk and label it "IN"
* Have one of your characters make reference to someone they knew losing their head (literally) in their line of work.
* Have a character say. "I don't know about you, but I could go for some cheap booze and a couple of dirty hookers right about now."
* Have a character wearing a shirt with something completely random on it that actually hints to a future scene.
* Make a character who has a phobia of making and receiving telephone calls, who works as a receptionist. Have them insist that firing them would be discrimination based on a psychological disability.
* Include a character name Ivy Vines.
* Have a character obsessed with highlighters to the point of mania
* Include a character fascinated by staplers.
* Have a character obsessed with paper clips, who takes every opportunity to use a paper clip in way other than holding paper together.
Chapter 2: Never run away! Your enemy is faster!
Corey squinted his eyes against the glaring sun. The traffic jam up ahead was making him late for work. True traffic wasn't as bad as it had been in New York but still California had more than its fair share of traffic. He watched a small flock of pigeons flying over the cars in front of him. As the birds passed over his car, one dropped a poop bomb. It landed in the middle of his windshield splattering and making a five-inch wide white Rorschach pattern.
"Great," He muttered. "Now I'm going to have to look at that the whole way to work." Corey turned on the radio and let the news of the day wash over him as he struggled through the traffic. After a twenty-minute ordeal of trying to find a parking space, he was over an hour late for work. He figured he may as well make it an hour and fifteen and stopped to grab a sandwich at the deli next to his work.
Corey noticed that the receptionist today was Ivy Vines, a blond that he had been ogling over for a few months. He made his way from the elevator to her desk in the center of the waiting area. He watched as she sorted through the answering machine messages.
"Good morning Ivy!" Corey said as he stopped at the receptionist's desk.
"You're late Corey." Ivy replied.
"Yea the traffic got me. Is Mr. Hughes in yet?" Corey asked.
"No. You are lucky. Oh I almost forgot these flowers were dropped off for you." Ivy said turning around to grab the monster size arrangement of flowers.
"Ummm. I will come back and grab those. My hands are somewhat full at the moment. Do you have any phone messages for me?" Corey asked.
"I'm not sure I haven't caught up with the answering machine messages yet. Let me check." She flipped through the stack of messages. Corey looked at her shirt puzzled. It said: 1. Ninjas are mammals. 2. Ninjas fight ALL the time. 3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people. "Looks like you don't." The phone rang causing Ivy to jump back from the desk.
"Are you going to get that?" Corey asked.
"No! You know how I feel about phones. I will let the machine get it and take the message from there." Ivy said inching back towards the desk now that phone stopped ringing.
"Nice shirt. You sure that is appropriate for work?" Corey asked making sure he took a long time to read her shirt again.
"Oh it's my boyfriend's shirt. I stayed at his place last night and I didn't want to wear what I wore yesterday." Ivy said. Corey frowned and started to walk away. "Hey Corey? Will you do me a favor?" Ivy asked.
"Sure. What do you need?" Corey asked.
"Will you go get me some more of these message pads from that guy in the office supplies closet? He is such a Neanderthal. He always pretends to read my shirt so he can stare at my boobs." Ivy said and sneezed.
"Did they move that guy into the supplies closet now?" Corey asked.
"Yea, he says he is more productive if he can be surrounded by paper clips and highlighters. He is such a freak. Thanks Corey." Ivy smiled at him and pulled her lunch plate out from under the shelf of her desk. She was eating poached egg on toast.
Corey walked down the hall looking into the offices as he passed. Almost everyone was dicking off. One guy was even watching a CSI dvd. Corey heard a commotion as he rounded the corner to the supplies closet.
"Yeah, well you may have more blue pens then me, but I hold the monopoly on grandmothers!" One of Corey's coworkers screamed as he backed out of the closet. "Good luck getting something from that office Nazi." He said to Corey as he brushed past. Corey stepped into the supplies closet. John with his Indian Jones hat had his back to him rummaging -through a drawer. On the right side of his desk was a trashcan labeled IN with a post-it. John had his highlighter collection displayed on his desk and in the center of the desk was a steaming bowl of ramen with a lime green fan positioned on it. Behind John on the wall was a plaque that read. Si hoc legere scis, nimium eruditionis habes.
"Ahem." Corey said trying not to startle John.
"Oh, hi Corey." John said turning towards him. "What can I do for you?" He asked locking eyes with Corey.
"I um, came to get more message tablets for Ivy in reception." Corey replied suddenly feeling nervous.
“Misses phone phobia couldn't walk her sweet ass down here? Do you have any idea how many message pads that women has gone through this week alone?” John asked accusingly. Corey backed up a step.
“No I don't know.” He stammered.
“FORTY-TWO! Why she hasn't been fired is beyond me. The woman is a receptionist and she fears the phone.” John said.
“She said something to me about it being discrimination against her handicap if they fired her.” Corey took another step back. John noticed Corey shirking away.
“Aw I'm sorry man I shouldn't shoot the messenger should I? I'll give her a pack of 13 pads but you have to tell her that I'm not giving her anymore. Your just in time I just put the finishing touches on my paper clip museum.” John gestured for Corey come into the left corner of the room.
There was a large shoe box turned on its side with a red velvet cloth covering it. John pulled it back slowly and then with a final dramatic tug revealed a diorama full of paper clip models and artworks.
“On the walls I recreated all the famous artworks, Mona Lisa, Starry Night ea cetera. In the middle of the room I have done a few famous sculptures. But my crowning piece is the one I just finished today the curator. He took me eighteen hours to complete. Wearing a double tailed coat and a bowler hat. I call him Franklin.” John straightened up to allow Corey to lean in closer and take it all in.
“That's uh, very interesting John. I can see you put a lot of time into it. What are you going to do with it now?” Corey asked.
“Well I'm talking with some galleries, there is some interest. I'll give you an invitation when I get opening some place. I also talked to Staples about doing a large sculpture piece for their headquarters office. Of course it would have to be in staples which really isn't my medium but I do have a fascination with staplers. Something about that ca chunk sound is so soothing. Anyways I don't want to keep you let me get you those message pads.” John handed him a package of pads and sat back at his desk.
“Thanks and I will be sure to pass along your message to Ivy.” Corey said watching John open a can of clams and dump them into his now cold bowl of ramen. John noticed him staring.
“I'm on the cold clam and ramen diet. Supposed to work like a charm and the guy that invented it hasn't died yet so it has to be better than that Atkins crap. I will have to admit it tastes like crap. It's not so bad if you eat it with the seafood or shrimp flavored ramens but all I had today was chicken so I'm not looking forward to my lunch.” John said.
“Yea, uh good luck with that.” Corey said with a nod and stepped out of the supplies closet. Corey walked back up the hallway to the reception area. Ivy was sitting three feet from the desk looking at the phones in horror. She looked up and saw Corey.
“They just won't stop ringing and I can't get near them to shut the ringers off.” Iv said.
“Here I can help you with that. Oh and John in supplies said this is the last of the message pads he can give you for the week.” Corey said placing the stack of thirteen pads on the desk. He reached over the top shelf of the desk and switched the ringers off on the two phones.
“That guy is so stingy with the office supplies yet I heard he builds art out of them. I'm sure Mr. Hughes would love to know that. If he doesn't give me any more pads this week I am going straight to Mr. Hughes and reporting this discrimination against my disability. I need those pads.” Ivy said.
“Is Mr. Hughes in yet? I still haven't been to my office. I don't want him to think I am this late.” Corey asked moving around behind the desk to grab his flowers.
“Corey I got a couple messages for you too.” Ivy grabbed the two message slips and handed them to Corey.
“Ivy, what is this?” Corey said pointing to the bunny in a small cage next to his flowers.
“The tag says this is Thumper for Belinda in accounting. I think it is from her husband.” Ivy said reading from the tag. She shrugged.
“Since when are flowers not enough? I don't even want to guess at what he did wrong to feel that sending a bunny to his wife was the only way to apologize. Isn't that a health hazard to have in the office building?” Corey asked picking up his flowers and leaning to the side to be able to talk to Ivy around them.
“I don't think so. Peter has a parrot in his office and that thing shits everywhere. Management had to have him clip the wings because it kept flying over the cubicle areas and shitting on people.” Ivy said seating herself at the desk. “Oh and thanks for turning the ringers off. I feel much better if they don't ring at me.
Corey set the flowers on his desk, pulling the card off the clip so he could see who it was from. He sat down and opened the card. You know who I am and I'll be coming soon, it read. Corey read it twice more, realizing that no he didn't know who it was from and that he was scared that they were coming. He sighed and flipped the card into the round file.
He pulled the messages from his pocket. One was from his sister marked urgent and the other was from his agent. He opted to talk to his agent, picking up the phone.
“Hi, this is Corey Feldman I have a message from Mr. Gates.” He said into the phone to the receptionist.
“Yes, Mr. Feldman hold please.” Corey tapped his pen on the desk as he waited.
“Hi Corey! Great news her I think I got you a spokesman job!” Jim Gates said enthusiastically.
“That's great. Get my face out there. Who is it for?” Corey asked.
“Well it's for the Girl Scouts but for a special division or something and they really don't want you to do in person stuff. The really just wanted your name for printed material.” Jim said.
“Ah, I see they just want the discount Corey Feldman.” Corey said.
“Don't get down. This is a great job. Get your foot in the door. Believe me this is a lot better than doing the stunt man job someone called you for today. They wanted someone that looked like Corey Feldman not someone that carried the same name. You stay away from stunt man jobs. I know a man lost his head in that line of work, literally. Listen Corey, the guy wants to meet with you. I think it's a good idea. Just see what the arrangements are. At least it will put some cash in your pocket right?” Jim said.
“Yea I guess but what do the Girl Scouts want with a guy?” Corey asked.
“No idea Corey. Just check it out. He wants to meet you tomorrow for lunch at that 50's Dinner on Main Street. Let me know what you think and we can draw up an official contract. It's been a long morning I'll have to talk to you later.” Jim said.
“I'll meet with him but no promises.” Corey replied.
“Man I have a headache already and it's not even noontime. I don't know about you, but I could go for some cheap booze and a couple of dirty hookers right about now.” Jim chuckled. “I'll talk to you later Corey.
“Okay. Bye.” Corey hung up the phone. He took one look at the flowers on his desk and just laid his head down content to nap the rest of the day away.